Shock
by EndlessStorm
Summary: They were just friends- no, just.. opponents. Nothing more. That is, until White loses a precious battle and is forced to marry N to prevent the world's pokemon from being released. N/White. FerrisWheelShipping.
1. Prologue

**A/N- First N/White fanfic. I absolutely love the pairing, especially after reading some really adoraburu fanfics ;u;**

**So, this is sorta the prologue- nothing really happens here, other than sort of introducing N and White and showing how much their relationship changes throughout the story.**

**SO, LOLK, READ AND REVIEW AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER~**

**[7/30/11: Edited most of the spelling/grammar mistakes ;;] **

**Disclaimer- I do not own pokemon~**

**Prologue**

I smiled contently, my eyes closed as I walked out of the gym. Emolga hovered over my right shoulder, occasionally landing on it for a rest.

"Hello, White," a voice practically purred, causing my eyes to snap open and make me jump back in alarm.

N stood less than a foot away, staring directly at me with curiosity in his eyes.

"Hey, N," I mumbled weakly. I wanted to appear confident, though on the inside I was slightly afraid. What if he wanted to battle me? The only pokemon I had on hand were Emolga, Zebstrika, and Superior, all who were weak from my previous gym battle.

"Why isn't your Emolga in its pokeball?" There it was again. That childish curiosity, which almost made N seem…innocent.

"He… he doesn't like it in there," I said, glancing over at Emolga, who didn't take his eyes off N. "And I'm not going to force him into something he doesn't want to do."

N nodded as if he understood this completely. "Are you that way with all of your pokemon, White?"

I was slightly taken aback by the question. "What do you mean? I don't let _all_ of them stay out of their pokeballs, of course. But the others don't seem to mind it."

N chuckled, shaking his head. "That's not exactly what I meant. You say you wouldn't force your Emolga to do something it doesn't want to. Does that include battling? What if your pokemon didn't want to battle? Would you make it?"

I stared. Was he serious? "My pokemon enjoy battling for me, though."

"And how exactly do you know that? Can you understand pokemon as they speak, White?"

"Well, no, but-"

"Would you allow me to speak to your Emolga, White?"

He kept doing that! Using my name at the end of every sentence. He sounded like an annoying therapist, for crying out loud.

"Uh…sure?"

N made a small motion with his hand, and Emolga slowly drifted towards him, making small cooing noises.

For the next few minutes, I watched as Emolga cooed and N nodded, as if completely understanding everything that my partner said.

Finally he smiled, nodding once more as Emolga returned to his place above my shoulder.

"You're a good trainer, White."

"Well, I _do_ have six gym badges-"

"Not what I meant," N cut me off. "Your Emolga… he trusts you. He _wants_ to help you in any way he can. He _cares_ for you. I've never seen this in a normal trainer's pokemon before."

I wasn't sure how to respond.

"White," I swear, I almost flinched as he continued to use my name. "I wish there were more trainers like you."

I almost blushed.

N grinned as if he _wasn't _my enemy bent on separating pokemon from their trainers. "Meet me at the Dragon Spiral Tower!" he shouted, and then ran past me.

When I turned around, he was gone.

* * *

"Making the world Black and White… liberating pokemon… I just don't understand it," I mumbled to myself as I continued climbing these never-ending stairs.

That's when I slipped.

Luckily, I didn't fall to my death. But I fell face-first on the marble stairs, throwing my hands in front of me and catching myself rather painfully.

I raised my hands up to my face, examining the damage. They hurt like hell. Both of my palms were covered in blood. I forced myself to look away.

I was only two or three steps from the top, but I couldn't keep going. I just couldn't. I had traveled for three days straight with almost no sleep, and then climbed all the way to the top of the tower, fighting Plasma members the whole way. I was so exhausted. My hands hurt.

I thought of Emolga, waiting with Cheren. He was too weak from so much battling. I couldn't let him come up here with me. I was depending on Liligant and Seperier and Zebstrika to fight my battles. I had told Emolga (and Cheren, too) that everything would be alright. That I would be okay, and that I could handle Plasma.

I thought of my mom, back home in Nuvema Town. Did she have any idea what I was doing? What would she do if I was killed? My father was dead; I was an only child; my mom would have no one left.

I thought of all the trainers of Unova, and the rest of the world. If I gave up now, I was letting Team Plasma win. I was giving up all of the pokemon of the world.

And then I thought of N, who was counting on _me_ to be the one to challenge him.

"Don't cry," I muttered to myself, wiping my eyes, though I'm sure I was probably only getting blood on my face.

But I couldn't stand it.

I put my head between my knees and starting sobbing.

"I can't…I can't be the hero," I yelled, hearing my voice echo off the walls. I sounded... pathetic. A mere shadow of the strong trainer I normally appeared to be.

I nearly jumped and fell down the stairs as another voice rang out through the silence.

"But you have to be."


	2. More Than Just a Lost Battle

**A/N- Later update than I planned, sorry.**

**I blame sickness. I've been home from school the past two days with a fever and a flu along with a really sore throat, and now it's ten o'clock PM and I'm writing this because I can't sleep.**

**Wow, I'm really surprised with the turnout on the prologue- several reviews, along with a BUNCH of watches! :D I know there was a problem with the seperation between the two parts- it was a mistake, really. I put *** between the two parts, but fanfiction killed it. Asdf. OH, BUT THAT'S FIXED NOW-**

**K onto the disclaimer,**

**I do not own pokemon or anything related to it. ouo**

**[7/30/11: Edited~]**

**Chapter One: More Than Just a Lost Battle**

"Emolga! Discharge!" I screamed the words with the last of the strength I had left.

I have to admit, by this point I had realized how pointless it was. I was fighting N's Boldore. _His freaking Boldore!_ Emolga's moves barely had an effect.

"Rock blast," N called out, never losing his cool.

I didn't understand it. How could he be so calm, even in battle?

And that did it. "No!" I screamed as the rocks slammed into Emolga, sending him flying through the air. I leaped out to catch him, the impact sending me stumbling back a few feet and falling onto my butt.

I wasn't going to cry. I absolutely wasn't going to.

So as I felt tears sting my eyes, I bit down on my bottom lip to stop them from flowing.

"I was right this whole time, N," I hissed to myself, making sure he wouldn't be able to hear. "I said I couldn't be the hero. So why did I listen to you? You tried to make me believe in myself, and look where that got me. I got too cocky, and now the world's pokemon are going to be released... _because of me_!"

I paused, my eyes growing wide while staring at nothing in particular. I was absolutely right. If all of the trainers' pokemon were set free... it was _my _fault, not Team Plasma's.

I looked up, only to have a pale hand gently brush my hair out of my eyes. I scooted backwards in shock, before realizing it was just N. I wasn't sure what to do now. He had beat me, just like he originally planned to.

He held out his hand. I stared at it for a moment before hesitantly letting him pull me up.

Then we just stood there. Stood in the middle of a destroyed area, ground blackened by Reshiram and Zekrom's battle. I thought of poor Zekrom, fainted in its pokeball. I had caught a legendary pokemon, for crying out loud, and I _still _hadn't won!

I jerked away from N, and my thoughts, as I realized he was still holding my hand.

And then his playful smile returned.

"Thank you for that wonderful battle, White," he said, smiling.

...Seriously? That's all he had to say?

"You... you actually beat me," I said in shock, just continuing to stare at his face, probably looking like a total idiot.

He laughed. "Yeah, I did!"

It was still just a game to him, wasn't it?

And then N snapped his fingers and my head shot up, staring at the grunts and sages walking towards us.

I was still hugging a fainted Emolga in my arms.

N stepped back with a grin of triumph on his face. My eyes never left him, even when grunts came up on both sides of me and grabbed my arms. I didn't let go of Emolga, nor did I look away from N's face.

So of course I noticed when his proud smile turned into a look of horror. The grunts chuckled evilly.

"And _that _is what you get for messing with Team Plasma, my sweet," a voice whispered in my ear from behind. I flinched, knowing the voice without even having to see the face.

Ghetsis.

The grunts spun me around and released their hold on my arms as Ghetsis roughly grabbed my chin. He smiled maniacally.

"Oh White," he breathed. His face was so close that I could literally feel his breath. It smelled terrible, by the way. "Did you really believe you could stop us?"

_Not at first,_ I felt like saying. _But your king convinced me I could do it if I really set my mind to it, and I actually believed I could..._

But of course, I knew it was smarter to just say what was expected of me. "Yes," I hissed. "I did."

"And how did that work out for you?" Ghetsis was grinning now. He was happy about my failure; happy about my obvious displeasure.

I spat on him.

The grunts grabbed my arms again, pulling my backwards. Ghetsis glared with fiery eyes and wiped my saliva off his face.

I certainly wasn't expecting it when Ghetsis backhanded me across the face.

"Now, will you behave?" The teasing that had previously in his voice was long gone, replaced with fury.

How much more trouble could I get myself into? Giving a confident laugh, I called out, "Why should I?"

Then the mischievousness returned to his gaze. "Because, my dearest White," I flinched at the sound of my name coming from his mouth. "You are a part of Team Plasma now."

It hit me like a sack of bricks. _What_. He was... he was going to make me a part of Team Plasma?

Well, it made sense. I was the one who had tried to foil their plans. No punishment could be worse than this.

"Are you guys... still going to free the pokemon?" I admit it, all of the confidence that had been in my voice a minute before was gone. Now I just sounded like a frightened little girl.

Ghetsis laughed. "Of course we are! But, not yet. You have definetly set us back a few weeks, possibly even months."

Well, that was a bit of a relief...

And then Ghetsis leaned close to my ear again. "But, White, I'm going to make sure that _you _are the one that gives the order to release the pokemon."

Relief gone.

"Wait, Fa- Ghetsis!" I craned my neck to see N, still standing in his original spot, looking even younger than he normally looked. I had almost forgotten he was here.

"What is it, you abomination of a son?" Ghetsis growled.

I stared in shock once more, looking back from Ghetsis to N. _Son_? That... that can't be! Sure, N was the king of Team Plasma, and even though what he was attempting wasn't right, he sure as hell wasn't evil! But Ghetsis... I couldn't see how it was possible that he was N's father.

And, what kind of father would treat their son like that?

N took a deep breath, looking terribly nervous. I almost felt bad for him, being put on the spot by Ghetsis. "Instead of making White a Plasma grunt, I think... I think she should become my queen!"

Ghetsis hesitated. I was sure he was about to get furious and go over to hit N, but he stayed in his spot. Eventually, he chuckled. "For possibly the first time in your life, you have a good idea, N. I'm sure that being your queen would be a lot more torture on the girl."

Wait, so- the torture hadn't begun yet?

Ghetsis waved his hand, turning around and walking towards the exit. "Take her pokemon, and make sure that Emolga gets put back into its pokeball. N, bring her to the castle."


	3. A New Life, A New World

**A/N- Once again, later update than I had planned. I'm a bit braindead for this story until a little later on. eue;;**

**Disclaimer- I do not own pokemon or any of its characters.**

**/yawns**

**/writes**

**[7/30/11: Edited~]**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon.**

* * *

**Chapter Three: A New Life; A New World**

"Watch it!" I growled to the grunt as he roughly shoved me towards Reshiram (and N, more importantly).

He just chuckled. I held back the urge to leap forward and strangle him.

My eyes met N's emerald ones, and I didn't even attempt to hide the fear in them. I had handled tough situations before; ones that ordinary kids would be absolutely terrified by. But I was in no way prepared to marry N and be the cause of the depression of every pokemon trainer in the nation.

N cleared his throat but otherwise remained silent as he took my hand, stepping onto Reshiram's back and pulling me with him. He gently helped me sit, himself behind me, never releasing his grip on my hand.

I felt uncomfortable, but surprisingly, I didn't mind -_much- _that my hand was held tightly in his.

"To the castle," N called out so lightly that I didn't expect Reshiram would be able to hear. But it did. I was reminded of N's ability to speak to pokemon. It probably would have understood the king's thoughts even if he hadn't spoken out loud, and the words were just for my own benefit.

_Time to say hello to the rest of my life._

* * *

I stepped through the doors to the castle, my hand still held in N's. I was immediately taken back by its beauty.

_How could the lair of people so evil be this magnificent?_

But then I considered that this was the place N had grown up in. Sure, he was trying to separate pokemon from their trainers. But his motives were clear: he wanted happier pokemon and a more beautiful world. If N had lived his whole adolescence in this palace, it made since that it would be beautiful.

I gently pulled my hand from his grasp. If he even noticed, I received no reaction. I took a few steps forward on my own, twirling to take in the whole grand entry hall. I ran my hand along the banister.

"So, what do you think?" N's voice finally broke me from my apparent trance. I looked at him, only to see a giddy smile on his face. It amazed me how he could go from being silent and serious to playful and childish.

"This place is-" I broke off when he stepped towards me again, holding both of my hands in his own and staring directly into my eyes. He was so close. God, I sure hope I wasn't blushing. "-_beautiful_."

A wider grin spread on his face. "Oh, I'm so glad you like it!" And he really did sound happy. "We're going to have so much fun, White, I promise!"

_Fun_? I shivered. What part of being a Team Plasma member could be fun?

I was about to ask him this, but bit my tongue. I didn't want to start a fight with N, though I honestly doubt that was possible. But, for some reason, no matter how much I didn't want to be here, I didn't want to bring down N's mood.

I didn't understand that one bit. He wasn't my friend. He wasn't even my rival anymore. Okay, I guess you could consider him my _fiancé. _But I had absolutely no reason to care about whether or not he was happy.

_But I still did._

"Come on, White!" N practically squealed, grabbing my hand and pulling me up the stairs.

He walked quickly and with purpose down the long hallway with me in tow. I stared at the black and white marble floor. _According to N, that's what the world will soon be like. Black and White. Pokemon and Humans. The won't cross; they won't mix. A new future. A new Golden Age, if one would actually call it that._

He stopped at a door so abruptly that I actually ran into him. "You could have told me you were going to stop," I grumbled, straightening my pose and brushing myself off.

He laughed. "Sorry."

He pushed the door open, leading me into the room as he hit the light switch and an old-timey chandelier lit up. My hand was starting to feel sweaty, but his grip was too tight to pull away from. Not painfully tight, though.

I stared at the room around me in amazement once again. It all looked so... medieval. Maybe that's why N called himself a king. He had grown up in a castle with a medieval theme. It wouldn't surprise me if he had a throne. I chuckled at the thought.

"What's so funny?" N stared at me with childish curiosity. "Do you not like the room? Is it too much?"

My eyes widened. "No, no!" I assured. "The room is fine. It's magnificent."

He smiled happily. "That's great to hear."

I was about to take a step forward when I suddenly froze. "Wait, who's room is this?"

He gave me a dumbfounded stare. "It's ours, of course."

_Ours?_

"But there's only one bed," I pointed out.

"You _are _my princess, and soon to be my queen," he countered. "Queens and kings sleep in the same bed, if I am not mistaken."

I actually considered telling him that he _was_ mistaken. Even though he was very much correct, I knew it wouldn't be that difficult to convince N of what was wrong and what was right. But I couldn't find it in me to take advantage of his childish innocence like that.

There it was again. I really shouldn't care about these things, and yet I _did. _It was so damn irritating!

"_Oh_."

Why was it that I always had so much I'd like to say, and yet the only thing I could respond with was 'oh?'

"N," I stated slowly, cautiously, taking my gaze off of the large golden-sheeted bed and returning it to his face. "You can let go of my hand now."

He laughed again. That beautiful laugh that sounded far too young for his muscular form, but matched perfectly with the brilliant light in his eyes. He released my hand.

I took a step towards the bed. _My _bed. _Our _bed.

"Darling."

I stiffened at that name. I didn't respond, instead waiting for N to continue.

He didn't, though, until stepping up and placing a hand on my shoulder, spinning me around to face him. His eyes burned with intensity, and his beaming smile almost blinded me (metaphorically, of course).

"I'm glad you're here."

_If only I could say the same._


	4. Silence is Golden

**A/N- I AM SORRY FOR SUCH A LATE UPDATE. I'M SORRY, OKAY?**

**I actually have no real excuse for why it's taken me this long, other than the fact that I've been getting obsessed with new fandoms (Vampire Knight, Black Butler). But, I really do apologize for taking so long. Plus, I'm a little stuck on what to write right now- I don't really have anything planned until a few chapters into the future.**

**Disclaimer: I do not, and never will, own the rights to pokemon or any of its characters.**

**Chapter Three: Silence is Golden**

By this point, I had taken a vow of silence.

Three days into my stay at N's castle, and I hadn't spoken a word since the first night. Lying in bed that night, I knew sleep was impossible, despite how tired I was. So I had just lay in bed and _planned._

Just the thought of sleeping in the same bed with my rival- and possible enemy- sent shivers down my spine. Though, I have to admit, I'm a bit proud of myself for surviving three nights of it.

I wouldn't leave the bedroom, either. I was slightly curious as to what N and his servants- the Plasma grunts- were saying about me. Did they think I was being childish? Did I seem strange to them? Any way, it didn't really matter. I wanted them to know that I was uncomfortable here. I didn't want to _be_ here.

Well, at least I could just lie in that comfortable bed all day, in that beautiful room. I made sure that the message got across to N that if he really wanted me out of bed he would have to_ drag_me out. Okay, so that's probably childish. But hey. I'm here against my will.

But, in the end, what will all this stubbornness accomplish? I guess I was hoping that N would take pity on me, or feel bad about making me upset, and let me leave. I should have known it wouldn't be that easy.

The sound of a door creaking open shook me from my thoughts. I looked up from where I was seated in the middle of the large bed to see N carrying a plate of food, right on time. When it became known that I wasn't going to leave this room, N or a Plasma grunt had taken to bringing my meals to me. I never ate until they were gone, however.

I returned my gaze to my fingernails, picking at them absently. It was probably smart to not even acknowledge the prince's presence.

Even when I felt weight shifting the bed, I didn't look up, knowing already that N was sitting there and expecting me to do something- at least give him a bored look, or a nod. But no. He hadn't taken the hints, after three days, that I was unhappy here. I wasn't going to play along in this game anymore.

"White," he said softly.

It was so hard to ignore the pain in his voice.

I felt his hand reach out to brush my hair back, and on instinct my hand flew up, slapping his away. His eyes filled with shock, staring at his hand. I almost mumbled an apology before remembering how important it was to not give in.

"Please, White... Just... say something. _Anything_," he begged.

I met his eyes now, part of me hoping that he would just _understand_without me having to say something. Honestly, at this point I was afraid to speak. Up until now I had always seemed to go along with what N was saying, finding it hard to be mean to such an innocent person. It would be like abusing a child. Part of me knew that if I spoke I would agree to whatever N wanted me to do.

I was met once again with a begging emerald gaze.

_Silence is golden._

There's that voice again.

_Don't give in._

But it's so hard not to.

Why is that, exactly? Could it be that I just felt bad about being so rude? Was I feeling embarrassed about acting so childishly?

But in truth, I knew the answer.

I wanted so much for N to remain the cheerful person he always is. I didn't want to be the cause of that person fading away.

"What can I do to make you happy here?"

The question took me by surprise, but more so than that, the way his voice sounded so _strained_. It sounded like... he genuinely cared about making me happy.

"I want my pokemon back."

I spoke the words as firmly as possible, thanking Arceus that those days without speaking hadn't caused my voice to come across hoarse or weak.

His eyes lit up and a grin spread across his face as he heard me speak again. Suddenly, without warning, he threw his arms around my neck and buried his head in my shoulder. "Oh, White!" he cried. "If that's what it takes, I'll see that it happens! Just as long as- as long as-"

Part of me wanted to demand to know if he was really crying or if that was just my imagination making this moment seem dramatic. But when I found my mouth moving, it formed a different question. "As long as what?" My voice was barely louder than a whisper.

He pulled back to look at me, and I saw that his beautiful eyes really _were_full of tears. That almost broke my heart, if not for the small sweet smile that he still wore. "As long as I can still see your beautiful smile."

I didn't know how to respond, so I just mumbled a reply and looked away, hoping my blush wasn't too obvious. Why did he have to say things like that? Was he _trying_to embarrass me?

N chuckled. I resisted the urge to glare. When I didn't say anything else, he started telling me about how he had been personally taking care of my pokemon, and some of the things my Emolga had said to him. Once again, I felt myself subject to his words. I felt controlled by the mesmerizing sound of his voice.

_You're failing, White._

Shut up.

_You need to stop giving in to him._

I'm trying, okay?

_Are you really?_

I couldn't respond to that damned voice anymore.

Maybe it's simpler to just focus on the sound of N's voice.

"... Ghetsis will be returning to the castle soon, though, probably tonight. And I'm not sure how he'll react once I tell him that you've requested to have your pokemon back. If he disagrees, things could get messy... But even if it means standing up against my father, I want you to be happy, White..."

I tried not to let myself appear shocked by his words. But on the inside, I was. Ghetsis was going to be back? Oh no, if he found out how stubborn I'd been acting... What would he do?

_N, you fool... Ghetsis will never allow me to have my pokemon back. Can't you see that? Even_you _aren't strong enough to stand up against him. And even if you are... I'm not worth getting hurt for. You shouldn't care so much for me, someone you barely know more than a rival._

It was at this point when I realized that N's hand were still on my back. Actually, I think I had been aware of it the whole time, but I had let it slip. Hey, what's the harm?

Our moment ended when the door flew open so fast and roughly that a mirror fell off the wall and shattered onto the floor.

"Prince N," a male Plasma grunt panted, his eyes wide. "Master Ghetsis is... dead."


	5. The New Deal

**A/N- I actually have a legit excuse now. B|**

**Literally**_**weeks**_**ago there was a bad storm here that knocked down a tree onto our satellite dish and I haven't had internet since then :C**

**I hope my readers (and reviewers) are still interested. I'm so sorry.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own N or White or Pokemon. I just own the plot of this story.**

**Chapter Four: The New Deal**

I couldn't honestly say that the news distressed me. But seeing N's reactions to the whole situation practically broke my heart.

It was two days after we had been informed of Ghetsis' passing, and I was still confused on the details. Upon hearing the news, N had torn from the room, disbelieving the grunt.

But now, days later, we knew that the unfortunate (for some people) situation was indeed true. As far as I knew, Ghetsis had received some rare disease while traveling around re-establishing Team Plasma. He had fallen ill, been unable to travel, and ended up dying in his sleep.

N had not taken the news well. At first, this confused me, but I had somehow grown to understand. Sure, Ghetsis was a terrible person and obviously didn't care for his son. He treated him even worse than any of the grunts, for Arceus' sake!

But he was still N's father. I mean, think about it. Even if your father treated you terrible, you'd still have the heart-wrenching feeling once you learn that they'll never again speak to you; never again do what they dream to; never again _live_.

Throughout these past few days, N had not slept a wink (as far as I knew). He pretty much just bustled about the castle, cleaning whatever he could, even the things that were already shining. You would think that the grunts that normally do the cleaning around here would be relieved, but, like me, they just seemed unsettled by it.

The door flew open, surprising me greatly; more so when I saw the person at fault. He normally opened the door slowly and quietly, or at least knocked first. N hurried through the room straight to the spacious closet, searching madly for something. I stood up off the bed, craning my neck to see him.

"Are you okay?" I blurted out, like an idiot. Of course he wasn't okay. He hadn't been okay for three days now, and I couldn't blame him.

He stumbled out of the closet, hurriedly unbuttoning a crisp, white dress shirt. "I've been so caught up with the news of Fa- Ghetsis- that I completely forgot that I have a meeting with a group of Pokemon Peace Corps today..! Aah, I really need to hurry!"

I was so shocked by this news that I literally stumbled back, hitting the bed and falling back onto it. I stared at N in slight shock, slight suspicion. The way he was acting... _shaken_. He was still shaken by the news of his father's passing. N never stumbled; never rushed. He was acting so out-of-character that it frightened me.

Suddenly, he stopped fumbling with the shirt and looked at me, and I saw a glimpse of the old N in his eyes. "Is something wrong? Do you need anything?"

"No, no, N, I'm fine, I just-"

The dress shirt was dropped on the floor and forgotten as N stepped towards me, sweeping me up into an unexpected hug. "I've been neglecting my darling Princess. I'm so sorry, White..." He pulled back, and I gasped at the tears filling his eyes. He really was just a child! "Do you forgive me?"

"O-of course I..." Was I honestly stuttering? I blame N surprising me with the hug that I _still_hadn't been released from. "Of course I do."

"Oh, White!" I was pulled close now, my face pressed against his half-bare chest. I hadn't realized that he had already started unbuttoning his own shirt, and I blushed at the fact that I was _enjoying_this, breathing in his sweet scent. N's face pressed against my head; one of his hands was on my lower back, the other right beneath my neck. Subconsciously, one of my own hands tangled in his soft, green locks.

We were interrupted by someone clearing their throat loudly (and quiet obnoxiously, if I do say so myself). My eyes flew to the door to see a rather embarrassed male grunt, staring at his feet. I felt a twang of sympathy for him, but also something else.

_Annoyance?_

No, no, that wasn't possible.. I shouldn't _care_that my moment with N had been interrupted; I should be _relieved_.

But I couldn't find it in myself to be happy as N was summoned to his meeting with the Peace Corp.

* * *

"White?" a voice said so lightly that, for a moment, I thought it was my imagination. "Are you still awake?"

No, that velvety voice was _definitely not_the annoying, nagging voice from my mind.

I sat up slightly, peering through the darkness, barely able to make out the silhouette of N standing in the doorway. "Yeah, I am," I called to him.

N walked over to the bathroom (connected to our room) and switched on the light, bringing enough into the room for us to see each other, but still being considerate of my eyes needing to adjust to light.

As he approached the bed, I was allowed to see that he was carrying something- a bag, as far as I could tell. When he reached the bed, he turned the bag over, spilling the contents out in front of me.

In the dim light, I saw six shiny red pokeballs.

With a gasp, I looked to my prince (since when was he _mine?)._"N! Are these... are they-"

"Yes, they're yours." N gave me a smile that seemed too sweet and genuine, I could swear it melted my heart.

"Oh, thank you, N! Thank you!" I knew there were tears in my eyes as I looked over the pokeballs. I could automatically sense which one was Emolga's, and I was tempted to let him out, since he wasn't used to being trapped in one, but I resisted the urge- it could wait until morning.

"Anything to make my princess happy," N said. He looked as happy as I did.

_You know, now that you have your pokemon back, and Ghetsis is dead, you can leave. N won't be able to stop you~_The annoying voice inside my head said in a sing-songy voice.

As much as I tried to ignore the voice, it had a point.

'I can... I can leave now,' I said inside my head.

Apparently not.

"Leave?" N echoed, staring at me with wide, hurt eyes.

Oh, _hell_. I had said that out loud?

"N..." I couldn't let him see the conflicting feelings I had on the inside. Part of me wanted so badly to leave this castle and never look back- and to never have to have anything to do with Team Plasma again. But another part, the slightly-less-dominant part, wanted to stay to avoid hurting N. He never did anything, did he? It was all his father's doing.

My eyes must have betrayed my emotions, because after a moment's hesitation, N grabbed my wrists and pulled me out of bed, sweeping me into his arms. His hands rested on my sides, careful not to dip too low. It wasn't how he had held me earlier, though. Then, it had been a gentle, loving embrace. Now, he held me at almost arms length, but still firmly- as if he was scared that I would disappear in a second.

"White," N breathed. He avoided my gaze, staring at the floor instead, but nothing could have masked the utter _hurt_in his voice. "Do you really hate being here so much? Have we been bad to you?"

I considered this. "Well, no- the food's good; the grunts treat me with respect; you act as if I'm a prized gem worth preserving. So it's not _bad_-"

"Then what's the problem?" N's emerald eyes now bore into mine. I resisted the urge to flinch.

"I- you-" I was at a loss for words. "Team Plasma!" I blurted. "I don't... I don't approve of liberating the pokemon!"

N's wide eyes stared at me with shock, almost making me laugh bitterly. Was this really coming as a surprise to him? Hadn't I said it many times before?

He wasn't saying anything, so I continued. "I mean, I understand your point. Pokemon have to be confined in pokeballs. They have to listen to the commands of trainers. They have to fight others of their kind. You think that's cruel, right? Well, you're also wrong about things. You say they gain nothing from this. You say they're being _forced_against their will. But do you know why that's incorrect?"

I waited for an answer this time, and after a miniscule pause, N whispered, "Why?"

"Because if they really wanted to, a pokemon wouldn't have to obey their trainer. Most people assume that since they caught the pokemon in a pokeball, it will obey them. But that's not entirely true. You know the strength a pokemon had; if it wanted to, it could attack and escape the trainer. But that so_ rarely_happens, because the pokemon _love_their trainers."

I wondered if this was all sinking in. N was staring at me so intently. I decided to wrap it up. "So really, are the pokemon unhappy? You would think that if they truly were, they would have done something about it by now." I offered a light shrug. "So _that's_why I don't want to be a part of Team Plasma."

Before I knew what was happening, strong arms wrapped around me again. "White, that was _beautiful_. You... you really know a lot about pokemon. Before now, I didn't think it possible, but you might know more than even _me_."

I decided to take that as a compliment.

"White." N pulled me back to arms length and stared at me seriously. "If... if you will stay here, _willingly_, then..." He paused.

"Then Team Plasma will change their ways, and work so trainers are _closer_with their pokemon."

I gasped. Had my words really had that much of an effect on him? Had he really listened to all of that?

And more so, did he really want me to stay _that bad_?

Well, it wasn't going to work..! Why should I stay just so they would change their ways? If they continued what they were doing, I would just train harder so I could stop them!

Which is why I was surprised as N was as I found myself whispering, _"Deal."_


	6. Of Funerals and Cake

**A/N- nnnng, I'm writing this when I should be sleep, trololol. [/after one AM; have to be up at six AM] **

**I really like this chapter, because it starts out kind of angsty, but the second part is sorta cute. ouo **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon or its characters, nor will I ever. **

**Chapter Five: Of Funerals and Cake**

_I don't belong here. I feel so out of place!_

I sat next to N in a pew, clutching his hand in mine without even realizing it. There was such pain in his eyes that I was afraid... if I said the wrong thing, he'd fall to pieces.

I stared at my feet. Funerals were so difficult, no matter who they were for. I'd only attended a handful in my life, and they were all for distant relatives that I didn't even know. Despite that, I had still cried.

Suddenly, the warmth slipped from my hand. I glanced up to see N walking towards the small stage set up. He was wearing a tux, and I couldn't help noting how great he looked in it-

_These thoughts shouldn't be going through your head, idiot! Especially at a funeral, _the voice in my head chided.

I tried to tone out the speech N gave. It would just remind me of what I would have to deal with when we got home: a moping, depressed N with no signs of life in his usually vibrant eyes.

"White?"

My eyes fluttered up to N, where he was standing behind a podium and holding a microphone, looking straight at me. My heart skipped a beat. Did he really expect me to-

"Would you.. mind making a speech? Please?"

Of course he would.

Okay, come on. This was _Ghetsis' _funeral. Ghetsis. The person that I despised. The person that despised me. There was no way in _hell _that I would go up there and make a speech. Not even for N.

"Well, I'll admit that I didn't know Ghetsis well..."

I ignored the scolding voice in my head, telling me that I shouldn't be doing this, even if my sole cause was to make N happy. Fighting the urge to either sigh or run off the stage to avoid the piercing stares of Team Plasma members along with those of the people that believed in liberation, I continued.

"And I'll admit, we shared different views. He, along with most of you here, believed that pokemon should be liberated. I was the one that didn't agree, and the one that managed to stand up to him. Though, despite all of this, all of our differences, I have to admit that I held a certain sort of... respect, for him."

I scanned the audience now, watching reactions. Even from here, I could see the look of shock on N's face. I managed a tiny smile.

"He managed to form Team Plasma, all by himself- well, at first. Apart from that, he also changed the views of many different people; whether or not it was for the better is for you to decide. But if he could do all of that, then he should definitely deserve a fair amount of respect. May he rest in peace." I curtsied (because I was wearing a black dress, of course) and exited the stage, my cheeks flaming.

* * *

"N..? What are you..." I was at a loss for words when I stumbled into the kitchen, half-asleep, still clothed only in a pink silken nightgown. I had woken up early and expected N to still be asleep, but the green-haired noble was missing from his spot in our shared bed. This surprised me, because N normally wasn't much of a morning person..

So when I walked into the kitchen at seven AM to find him fighting the mixing bowl, I just about believed that this was a dream and I should just go crawl back into bed.

"Oh! White! Uh- um-" He stepped in front of the mixing bowl. "Nothing! Just- getting a bowl of cereal!"

I laughed, propping my head up on my hand as I sat down at the counter. "N, I've already seen the mixing bowl. So, what are you doing here?"

He was blushing. _Blushing_. I giggled softly, only causing him to blush more. "Well, I wanted to make a cake to, um, apologize for how I've been acting-"

My smile faded. He was going to.. _apologize _for being upset over the death of his father?

I now declared my suspicions correct. N had the mind of a child, for sure. He didn't understand things other than pokemon.

I stood up, walking over to him. Ignoring the fact that my cheeks were also red now, I grabbed his hand and held his stare. "N. Don't apologize for being sad. Don't _ever _apologize for your feelings."

"But I... I made you sad by being sad, didn't I?"

My lips parted in a silent gasp. Was it... really that noticeable?

"You... don't worry about that. Don't _ever _be afraid of showing your true feelings, okay?"

N gave a small smile. "Okay!"

"Now, what is this about a cake?"

"Well, it was going to be for you as an apologize, but you said I don't need to, so..." he trailed off.

I bit my lip, glancing away. Was I really going to turn down an offer of cake? "How about... how 'bout we make it together?"

His eyes lit up with happiness, and I felt my heart practically melt.

I walked over to the mixing bowl, and practically groaned as I looked in. There was the chocolate powder of a cake mix, along with two eggs- two eggs, along with the shells.

_He didn't break the shells. Okay. _

"White? What's wrong?" I could hear the distress in N's voice without turning around.

I couldn't help but laugh out loud. "N? Have you.. ever made a cake before?"

The crimson color returned to his face. "Well.. no, but- wait! How can you tell?"

I broke out in fits of giggles. I didn't mean to laugh at him, but it was just so hilarious, how someone couldn't have the common sense...

Well, maybe when you live in a palace where everything is done for you, you don't learn things like this.

"White? What's so funny?" N looked so confused.

"N... you have to _break _the eggshells before you put them in," I managed to get out between spurts of laughter.

N hesitated, then joined me in laughing. I dumped the contents of the bowl in the sink and gathered up fresh ingredients.

It was so hard to believe that just the day before, we had been at a funeral, making speeches that only made people cry even more.

We spent the next few hours baking a cake and exchanging stories of our pokemon journeys. Several times, we ended up getting... distracted.

"Hey.. !" I shouted as N flung a spoonful of chocolate cake batter at me. Luckily, I ducked in time, and it splattered on the wall- okay, luckily for _me_, not the housekeeper.

I laughed. "Hey, not fair! You were closer to the bowl!"

N gave a smirk that looked off on his childish face. "I don't remember agreeing on any rules!"

That's when he stepped towards me with spoon in hand, and hit me on the nose with it, getting bittersweet-smelling batter on my face.

"N!" I cried in a whiny voice. "No fair!" I would have sounded like a little kid if I hadn't been laughing along with N.

But then, N leaned in close to my face, causing them to turn a deep red in seconds. For a moment, I thought that he was going to kiss me. Then his tongue darted out, licking the batter off my nose. He pulled away, still chuckling as hard as ever.

I wanted to both swear loudly, and go curl up in a dark room at the same time. Instead, I grabbed a handful of flour from a nearby jar and chucked it at his face. When he blinked at me from behind a mask of white, I doubled over laughing, then darted out of the room.

Oh yes. Payback.


	7. Rematch

**A/N- Okay, so, instead of updating Secrets of the Dark and Fated which haven't been updated in forever, I'm writing this. ;;****  
****I would just like to point out that "Shock" now has:**  
**~55 Reviews**  
**~50 Favs**  
**~81 Alerts**  
**~7,522 Views**  
**Wow, guys. Seriously. Thanks so much to all of you that have reviewed, and a special thanks to** **lollipopdiego** **for the review that made me so happy I thought I would cry.**  
**[Also- White's team in this chapter is based off of mine at the end of the game. ouo;]**  
**Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon, N, White, or anything mentioned in this chapter other than my own ideas.**

**Chapter Six: Rematch**

"Let's have a battle," I blurted out at breakfast, taking my eyes off the syrup-covered waffles for the first time since starting.

"W-what?" N looked up at me in surprise.

I stood up, abandoning the last few bites of waffles and sighing dramatically. "I haven't had a real battle since ours, and I wouldn't want my pokemon getting out of shape." I stretched my arms above my head and started towards the stairs. "I'd battle a grunt, but I was looking for a real... _challenge_." I threw one last smirk over my shoulder before dashing off to the bedroom to get dressed.

* * *

"Since when was there- how did- N, why do you have an _arena_built behind the castle?" I gazed around myself in amazement. Behind the castle, there was a building that looked almost identical to a real battling arena.

My observation skills must be terrible.

He grinned sheepishly, his cheeks coloring slightly. "Well, the grunts needed a place to train, and-"

I held up a hand, cutting him off. "Oh, silly me; I should have known. Alright, so onto why we're here; is there going to be a referee?"

N looked to the other side of the arena, where a giant podium stood, and behind it, a grunt. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

I flashed N a confident smile. "Good luck." Feeling my pocket to make sure it contained two pokeballs and looking over my shoulder to check for the familiar electric squirrel, I jogged over to my side of the battlefield.

The genuinely _happy_smile never left N's face as he approached his side, pulling out a pokeball. Briefly, I wondered which pokemon he would be using. I really needed to try my best if I wanted to beat him this time, considering that I had lost our previous battle and not trained since.

"This match will be a 3-on-3 pokemon battle between Lady White and Lord N!" the Plasma grunt shouted, sounding as if he were a referee to a Champion battle. "There will be no substitutions; you are only permitted to switch out pokemon after the previous one faints! Is all of this understood?"

He looked to me, and I nodded. My eyes fluttered towards N to see him nod as well, the same goofy grin still plastered on his face. The referee-grunt paused, then blew his whistle, signaling the battle to begin.

"Go, Lilligant!" I called, throwing the pokeball up into the air. It felt so great to be able to do that after so much time- how long exactly had I been in N's castle? Weeks? Months? I had stopped keeping track of the days and the battery on my x-transceiver was dead, leaving me no way to check the date or call anybody. I could always ask N, but-

I needed to be focusing on the battle.

"Klingklang!" N called, releasing his pokemon as well. I stared; I didn't know much about Klingklangs, other than the fact that they were steel pokemon. I threw a glance towards my Lilligant. This thing might be difficult to beat.

Neither of us called out a command. I stared intently at N until he nodded at me, signaling that I should go first.

"Lilligant.. energy ball!"

I watched N's facial expression as my pokemon formed a glowing ball of energy, eventually releasing it towards the floating metal pokemon. It wasn't until the light was a just more than a foot away from Klingklang that the princely boy spoke softly. "Metal Sound."

Impossibly, Klingklang released what looked like a visible sound wave mere milliseconds before it was hit. The energy ball bounced off of it, flying back towards Lilligant.

"Dodge it!" I screamed, but I was too late.

As Lilligant rose to a standing position again, I grimaced. It was going to be difficult to beat that Klingklang using any of Lilligant's grass-type moves, and all of her psychic moves could be reflected by the Metal Sound.

"I hope you're not already getting discouraged, White!" N teased, laughing.

I stiffened. "When Hell freezes over."

* * *

"How fair is it that you're using your _Zoroark?_" I yelled, earning a chuckle from both N and said pokemon.

"There were no rules against it!" he retorted.

I mumbled something about getting a better referee next time before shooting a glance at Emolga. He bobbed his head and floated out in front of me.

By now, I was starting to feel discouraged. Klingklang had taken out Lilligant but was finished off by Zebstrika (amazingly). Zebstrika had also managed to take out his Purrloin (who I remembered faintly from one of our very first battles).

It seemed to all be over when he called out Zoroark.

"Alright, Emolga, it's up to you! Use Acrobatics!"

Emolga flew towards Zoroark, glowing with electricity. A small smirk was threatening to form on N's face as he planned his next move. Exactly _what_command to give right before Emolga struck.

Unfortunately for him, I had planned my moves also.

"Night Slash!" N called out, just as expected.

"Emolga, Arial Ace!"

"Wha-"

As Zoroark prepared to be struck by Acrobatics and retaliate with Night Slash, Emolga dodged both attacks altogether, flying up in the air. Before N could understand the situation enough to reevaluate his moves, Emolga struck the bewildered Zoroark. Hard.

Before I knew it, Emolga had flown back over to me and thrown himself into my arms. I hugged him as N looked over his fainted Zoroark before calling it back into its pokeball.

As N walked over to me, smiling, I felt slightly dejected. I had won the battle; I should be happy, right?

But I wasn't.

Because I had won, but.. just barely.

"White? Is something wrong? You look distressed," N commented in a worried tone as he brushed my hair back (which was beginning to become a habit).

I smiled sadly. "No, nothing's wrong. But.. this battle let me realize how much more training I need to do."

N's expression was one of pure surprise until it melted into the familiar grin that I had come to adore so much.

And somehow, I found myself smiling along with him.


	8. Changing Colors

**A/N- Rushing to post this tonight, and hopefully I'll be able to get another chapter out on Friday before I leave for Phoenix. /keyboard flail**

**So, um, as it says on my profile, I'm putting Secrets of the Dark and Fated on hold until this is finished. Oh but I really want to write a BB x L multichap fanfic too-**

**ANYWAYS.**

**Disclaimer: As always, I do not, nor will I ever, possess any of the things mentioned in this story other than my original ideas. ~**

**Chapter Seven: Changing Colors**

* * *

"The leaves are starting to change colors already..." a voice murmured, startling me. I glanced up to see that N was now standing beside me on the balcony, staring out on the expansive courtyard.

My attention was drawn back to the rows of trees lining the path to the road. He was right; the once-green leaves were now starting to become shades of vibrant yellow and red. It was a pretty sight, really.

I traced circles on the fence in front of me, lost in my own thoughts. How long had it been since I had been brought here? Our battle had taken place at the end of summer...

All of this time, and I had neither seen nor had contact with any of my friends or family members.

"Hey, N..." I muttered, unsure. "Do you... do you think you could let me go home for the weekend?"

N glanced over to me with a confused look on his face. "What do you mean? You are home."

I gave a short, humorless laugh. "No, I meant... _home;_as in, to see my mom." My gaze returned to the trees as I felt them start to water.

Suddenly, a lock of hair was pushed behind my ear and I looked up to N's kind smile. "Of course you can..." he frowned now."As long as you don't stay away for too long."

I burst out in a smile, my mood being raised dramatically just by knowing this. On instinct, I threw my arms around N, burying my face in his chest. As soon as I realized what I was doing, however, I pulled back quickly and threw my hands over my blushing face.

The princely boy laughed, a tinkling sound that always sounded like music to me. "We can fly over to Nuvema Town on Reshiram tomorrow morning. I'll just wait around the town for the day while you visit your mother; is that alright?"

My cheeks still flaming, I looked up meekly into his eyes. "I kinda... want you to meet her."

"Really?" N's face lit up like a child's on Christmas morning.

"Well... you _are _my fiancé, along with the person I've been living with for the past few months. I'm sure she would love to meet you." _Or murder you for practically kidnapping her only child._

I wish I had known what I was getting myself in to.

* * *

As we got closer to my hometown, a sinking feeling had lowered into my stomach. Maybe this was a bad idea. I hadn't seen my mother in months. What if... what if she thought something terrible had happened to me?

What if the whole world thought I was dead?

Before I had even realized it, N was ushering me towards my house. I wondered for a moment how he knew which house was mine, but quickly pushed the thought out of my mind (now that I thought about it, I couldn't even recall telling him that I was from Nuvema Town).

Once we were standing right outside my front door, I glanced up at N dumbly. "Do we knock?"

He returned my gaze with a blank stare. "You don't have a key?"

Well, I _did_have a key... not that I would have ever thought to bring it. While traveling, it would have been in the back pocket of my bag. I glanced down at what I was wearing. Sometimes, while at the castle, I was forced into wearing gorgeous gowns- things fit only for a princess. Today, however, I had managed to get away with plain jeans and a pastel pink sweater that clung to my skin (due to the chilling air, N never would have let me leave with anything less than long sleeves).

I let out a sigh before raising my hand to knock. It froze in place. My fears suddenly rushed back into me. How was I going to explain my absence?

When pressure was put on my hand, I glanced to it only to see N's pale hand gripping it lightly. My eyes fluttered up to his reassuring smile.

I took a deep breath. Right. It was just a visit with my mother. Nothing too big. I could handle this.

I knocked.

"Now, who would be knocking on the door at this hour of the morni-" the door was opened almost instantly, and my mother's voice was cut off when she saw who was standing outside of it. I gave a weak smile, unsure of what she would say.

"White!" she eventually cried out, throwing her arms around my neck.

I patted her back, chuckling. Over her shoulder, I looked up at N, who was studying the scene with interest.

It tugged at my heart. I bet that N had never been hugged like this as a child.

I felt an overwhelming urge to hug him.

My attention was drawn back to my mom as she pulled away, tears in her eyes, never fully taking her hands off of me. It was as if she was scared I would disappear again. "White... where have... where have you been?"

And so, the questions started.

I glanced over to N as he flashed a kind smile at my mother. She gasped, studying N. "White, who is..."

"Um... Mom, why don't we all go inside?"

She nodded, not taking her gaze off of N. One arm wrapped protectively around me, she led us into the house.

* * *

We had been there three hours, and I was already regretting bringing N along.

Oh, at first he had been the real gentleman, offering to insist my mother in preparing us some tea. He even told her, "I can now see where White got her beauty from."

That one had got him slapped.

By my _mom._

Oh, but after we were all seated at my small kitchen table and I was starting my tale of how I had been led away to a castle in the north, N's small attention spam became apparent. I tried to ignore as he played with the salt and pepper shakers, staring at them as if they were gold. Eventually, I got annoyed and told him that he needed to help me tell the story.

Of course, his help didn't go very far.

Apparently, everyone other than me found this situation _hilarious_.

After my mother was completely up-to-date on where I had been the past two months, she started to inform me of the latest gossip. N didn't seem to mind that we were speaking of things he wouldn't understand, seeing as he had found something entertaining in my living room.

Cheren was still training to become the champion.

Belle had taken up pokemon musicals, writing her own choreography.

"Oh, now, about Black," my mother laughed. I felt a familiar tinge at the sound of the boy's name. "He's still traveling, though he's not training. Despite this, he's never in the same town for more than two days. Anyone in this town could tell you what his true motive is."

My brow furrowed. Black, the same Black that I had known since childhood, who used to spend all day bragging about how he would be the best, wasn't training? "And what would that be?"

"He's looking for you."

My heart sunk and my cheeks colored. I looked over to N, who was now staring intently at us. Mom seemed to notice this and rushed to get us more tea.

* * *

It was going to be dark soon, so N and I exchanged a glance before informing my mother that we would have to leave soon.

She gave a small smile, looking at N. "You take care of her, alright?"

He returned the smile. "Of course. I'll protect her whatever the cost."

Mom looked at me, giggling. "He really is the prince-type, White."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I've noticed.

Her expression got serious. "Now, you better call and check in with me at least once a week, okay? And I want you two to visit soon. Oh, and you better eat your vegetables, White! Are they feeding you enough over the-"

"Mom!" I groaned, putting my hands in my face.

N chuckled, and I felt the warmth of his hand on my shoulder. "I'll give you a minute to say goodbye to your mother." There was a moment of silence before the door opened and shut quietly.

I looked up to my mom, who had that same sad smile on her face. I stepped forward and hugged her.

By the time I stepped away, my mother's normally happy smile had returned. "You have no idea how proud of you I am."

Proud? I had lost the battle I had been training months for. I had allowed myself to be bargained into marrying someone. What part of me was there to be proud of?

"You've changed so much, White. You're really growing up."

I felt tears stinging my eyes. "Mom..."

She glanced towards the door quickly. "Now, White... you say that you're staying with him and marrying him because he's agreed to change Plasma's ways."

I nodded, afraid of where she was going with this.

"Is that really all there is to it?"

"..."

Was it?

For now, I couldn't answer.

N poked his head in, asking if I was ready. I gave my mom another quick hug before rushing outside, staring at the setting sun.

"Hey, White?" N asked as he led me over to Reshiram.

"Hm?"

"Your cheeks are really red. Are you feeling alright?"


	9. Ferriswheel Shipping

**A/N- asdsf I know I said that I would post this chapter before I left for Phoenix, but do to personal reasons I haven't had the motivation to do anything other than write yaoi and/or angst. [Note: the past three or four angsty oneshots I've uploaded]**

_**I feel depressed. **_

**BUT LET'S NOT GO INTO THAT**

**/sips tea**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon.**

**Chapter Eight: Ferriswheel Shipping**

* * *

"White, are you _sure _you want to-"

"Shh! Yes, I'm sure!"

Actually, I wasn't _that _sure.

"This may be our only chance before it gets too cold out, N..." I stared up at him with what I hope were sad-looking eyes. He gave me a pouting look for a second before throwing his arms around me, catching me completely off-guard.

"I didn't say we _couldn't! _I was just thinking there were more fun things to do! We can do whatever makes you happy, White!" he cried into my neck.

I paused, then laughed, shoving him away. "Let's go, then!" Without a second thought, I grabbed N's hand and ran towards Reshiram.

And _that _was how we ended up in Nimbasa City, staring up at the massive ferriswheel.

The date being November 1st, weeks after we had visited my mother, the air was already chilly, and for a moment I regretted my decision. But when an arm wrapped securely around my waist, I suddenly felt warm- and safe.

I looked up at N with curiosity but didn't protest. He smiled. "You looked cold," was all he said.

Due to the temperature of the air along with the overall weather- gray skies and windy-, the amusement park was almost empty. There was no one on the ferriswheel, and the older-looking man controlling it didn't look happy to be there.

I'm not sure what brought on suddenly wanting to ride the ferriswheel, other than the obvious-

_This was the place I had my first _real _conversation with N. _

After that day, I saw N differently than I ever suspected to. He wasn't like Black or Cheren anymore- he wasn't a rival.

He was the enemy.

Though, as true as that may be, it didn't... it never made me _feel _any differently. He was still somebody that I had to train my hardest to beat.

It was just more important than before.

Every single battle against N along my journey, _I _was the winner. _I _was victorious. _I _was the stronger of us- me and my pokemon that will forever be the winners in my eyes. But after every single battle that N lost... he never looked upset. He was never mad that he lost. He would just look at me with a sad smile and thank me for the battle, then disappear for a week or so. It was like... he didn't care that his organization was losing and we were winning.

It was like he knew that no matter what, I would be the winner in the end.

Because despite losing the most important battle of my life, I know that I didn't lose. I still won, because I still managed to change Plasma's views of things- all thanks to the help of N.

N...

It's not terrible, living with N. I don't even regret losing the battle and getting forced into this. It's... almost like a bonus. It's another thing that I've won.

I'm still winning.

"White? What are you thinking about?"

I looked up in surprise at N's voice. I had been so caught up in my thoughts that I hadn't even noticed as he payed for our tickets and led me onto the pokeball-shaped cage. The door shut, and we began moving.

N's arm never left my waist.

I chuckled at the worried expression on his face. "Nothing important." _Liar. _

He was silent for a moment, staring out the side of the cage. When he looked back at me, he had a thoughtful expression on his face.

"This was where I told you that I work with Team Plasma, isn't it?" I nodded, knowing that it wasn't a real question. Neither of us would have ever forgotten that day.

It changed our fates.

Twisted them.

_"... And some day, I shall be the king of Team Plasma."_

_I flashed him a smirk, while in truth, I was shaking. "And I'll be the one who knocks you off your throne."_

_The ferriswheel had stopped moving. Without another word, I stepped off, striding away with a quick pace and breaking into a sprint the moment I was out of his sight._

"What did you think of me after that?"

The question echoed several times in my mind before it really sunk in that he was asking a question. I avoided his gaze, unsure what to think.

"I thought... I thought that I had been an idiot for long enough and needed to get my emotions in order before we met again."

N looked at me with a confused expression. Obviously, my words had made absolutely no sense to him, and when I thought them over, they didn't really make sense to me either.

But it was still one of the most truthful things I had ever said.

"To think... I was thinking that way about someone who should have been my enemy..." I laughed in spite of myself.

N's face still showed confusion, and now, hurt. "Thinking... what way?"

"There was always a part of me that... loved you..." My voice came out a whisper, cracking on the last word.

"White..."

I didn't even realize I was crying until a tear hit my hand and it instantly felt cold. I looked away from N, staring out at the gray sky. "It was wrong. It was always wrong. I couldn't... I couldn't feel that way about you. You were the leader of the people that I despised. I knew that... I would let my emotions control me, which could be fatal in a battle."

When N remained silent, I looked at him through my tears with a sad smile. "Dragonspiral Tower."

"What do you mean?"

"That day that I was in Dragonspiral Tower. By that point, I had come to realize that my emotions weren't going to obey me. That day... I was ready to give up. There was no way I could do it; no way I could defeat you when my thoughts were clouded. I fell on the stairs, crying, telling myself that I couldn't do it. And... then you showed up."

It showed on N's face as he remembered. "That was when... I told you that you _had _to try; _had _to give it your all; _had _to beat me. Because...-"

"-no one else was capable of it," I finished.

"White... I hadn't realized..."

"Don't say anything," I said firmly. "Please. Don't."

So, instead of speaking, N did something that shocked me- he moved closer, using a finger to gently brush away the remaining tears. Once finished, he leaned towards me, pressing a light kiss to my forehead. I felt my cheeks heat up.

"N...?"

He pressed a finger to my lips, silencing me. "White, dearest... I know that this is probably not the right time to do this, and that you probably wish it would happen somewhere else, but..." Breaking off mid-sentence, he dropped to one knee in front of me. He moved his finger away, and I gave a silent gasp as he pulled something out of his jacket pocket.

Holding it in one hand and gripping _my _hand with the other, he started. "White... I don't know much about 'love,' or 'romance.' And in complete honesty... I feel that I know next to nothing about you, the person who has made me want to spend the rest of my life with her in a matter of four months. White, no matter how you may feel about yourself, I find you absolutely amazing. I want to have forever to learn more about you. Will you marry me?" With the last word, he opened the box, revealing a ring with an emerald that matched the color of his eyes perfectly.

I pulled him up with the hand that was holding his. He was startled, even more so as I pulled him forward and pressed my lips against his.

I left it at that.

* * *

**halfway through writing this, some really inspirational piano music started playing :u**


	10. Winter Wonderland or Snowy Battleground?

**A/N- asdfaeasrg crazy busy schedule currently, due to school starting back up for me in five days. /dies (But there's a chance that my teachers are going on strike, so it may be longer… ;;)  
This chapter is seriously just a filler chapter, and I'll get back to actual _plot _soon. I'm really only writing this because I'm not certain on what White and N's Christmas gifts for each other should be yet. Ideas?  
Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon or its characters.  
Chapter Nine: Winter Wonderland or Snowy Battleground? **

"N! Come over here!" I was completely aware of how childish I sounded as I pointed out the window, grinning.

"Hm?" He hurried over, a confused look on his face.

"It's snowing!" And not only that, but it looked like it had snowed all night.

He stared at me, blinking once, before turning back to the window and letting out a carefree laugh. I pouted. "What?"

"It's just so nice to see you excited about something so simple as snow."

I looked away, feeling my cheeks heat up as I messed with a lock of hair. "It's just… well, down in Nuvema Town, we rarely ever get snow, even in the winter. But here… we're farther north."

An arm snaked its way around my waist, and I was pulled against N. I relished in his body warmth, because even though the heater was on, the castle was still a bit chilly. I felt his lips press against my forehead, and my cheeks heated up even more. I would never get used to that...

My attention went back to the falling snow. Everything outside was covered in white... it was beautiful. The snow was falling slowly, blowing around a bit before fluttering to the ground.

"Hey, N... Let's go outside."

* * *

My mind had automatically run through a list of the pokemon that N and I had, along with the ones that stayed at the castle. No ice types... Several of the grunts had Vanillites, but none of the pokemon that belonged to us directly would have enjoyed the weather very much.

I, dressed in a long pink winter coat along with a white scarf, stood facing a flustered N who seemed surprised by the snowball that hit him in the face. A smile appeared on my face as N huffed, then swept down to gather snow of his own. A laugh escaped me as I ran, ducking to dodge the snowball that he threw my way.

As we chased each other over the vast courtyard, my mind wandered. This was the first time I had ever seen snow... for myself, that is. When I was about eight, Black's family had gone to Snowpoint City over in the Sinnoh Region during the holidays. Black's dad was some kind of businessman, and had something he had to do their... That city is _always _snowy, but during Christmastime, they have some big festival. Black got to attend, and took a lot of pictures; which he proved by showing them all off to Cheren, Belle, and me.

Dammit, Black... Why was it that, ever since the visit with my mom over a month before, my mind always wandered towards thoughts of him? I hadn't seen him since... Well, since right before my battle with N. He had wished me luck, and then gave me a sad smile before running off. He didn't even ask if he could stay to watch the battle (which I probably wouldn't allow in the first place, so maybe it was better that he hadn't).

The thoughts got shaken from my head as a clump of snow hit me directly in the face. I brushed it off with gloved hands and sent a playful glare to N, who had almost doubled over laughing. He had had such a huge grin on his face this whole time... it was almost as if he also had never-

And then it hit me. Not literally, of course, since N was still too busy laughing to throw another snowball just yet. N had grown up with Ghetsis as his father. He had been trained to be a ruler. N had... never really had a real childhood, which was more than likely the reason why he was so childish now. That was why he was just as excited by being out here as I was... Not for the first time, I felt a twang in my heart.

Yet again, I found myself thinking about how much better it was that Ghetsis was dead (if my mother heard me say that about _anyone, _I would be in so much trouble). Though, this time, it wasn't because he had made my journey difficult and would have made my life a thousand times worse than that. It was because N honestly didn't deserve to be put through that.

We stayed outside for hours; despite the snow seeping through my clothes and giving me chills, I was too happy about this to care. I knew that, to onlookers, we would look strange. I mean, I was seventeen and N was nineteen, and here we were acting like six year olds and building snow forts. But I didn't really care, and it didn't appear N did, either.

When I started coughing, N made us go inside. After I had abandoned my wet clothes, he automatically forced me to lay in bed while he brought me hot chocolate. Even when I insisted that I wasn't getting sick, he still claimed that he did it because he wanted to, not because he had to.

We sat together on the bed, talking and laughing and drinking hot chocolate. In one week, we would be heading to Nuvema Town to spend Christmas with my mom... I had to admit, I was excited to see her, and excited for the holiday. Though, at the the moment, I felt that it would be difficult to make me any more happy than I already was.


	11. Under the Moon

**A/N- School is Hell. Having the flu is worse + results in me beating Pokemon White in three days. Is it bad that I spent over two hours attempting to catch an Emolga instead attempting to _write? _Totally. Anyway, my birthday's in ten days! Yay~ Guesses at my age? I'm curious to know what people think. |'D **

**So close to 100 reviews! Thanks so much, guys! Ily. Lots. ;u;**

**Long chapter is long to make up for the wait.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon or its characters.**

* * *

**Chapter Ten: Under the Moon**

"And _why_ exactly, may I ask, are we changing the dates?"

"Well... with out schedule... and we're supposed to get another big snowstorm on the 25th-"

"You can just tell me if you want to spend Christmas alone with him, White."

I sighed, trying to detract from the blush that I knew was quickly spreading across my face. In the screen of the X-Transceiver, I saw the small smile on my mother's face. I didn't bother to ask how she knew. 'Motherly instinct,' would definitely be the answer that I got.

"Yeah. So, will tomorrow be alright? I mean, if you can't have everyth-"

She interrupted me again. "Don't worry about it, White. Everything will be ready."

I smiled. "Love you." Hearing the door open behind me, I clicked the X-Transceiver off and set it on the nightstand, turning just in time to get enveloped in a pair of warm arms.

I could hear his heartbeat. Beating slightly faster than usual. I knew that if I looked up, N's cheeks would be slightly colored, even though he was the one who initiated the hug. Neither of us were really this used to physical contact. Six months ago, hugging N like this (and being so _comforted _by it) would have either made me blush like crazy or roll my eyes in disgust. Back then, he was the enemy.

The thought that seemed to trek its way back into my mind every day popped up: How had our fates gotten so twisted?

"I hope that was your mother you were talking to, White."

I chuckled, pulling away to sit on the edge of the bed, smoothing out my nightgown. "It was. Just making the plans for tomorrow."

A slight frown appeared between his eyebrows. "Tomorrow? But I thought that we weren't going there until Christmas."

I glanced at my feet, mumbling. "Well, um, my mom wants us to spend Christmas Eve with her instead! She has... uh, plans on Christmas Day." I mentally cringed at how weak my lying was. "Will that... be a problem?"

N beamed. "Not at all."

Now, as long as there wasn't a repeat of his first meeting with my mom...

* * *

To my surprise, not to mention delight, both Belle and Cheren (along with their families) were at my mother's house early in the afternoon of Christmas Eve. Belle immediately rushed to tackle me in a hug, when Cheren stood back with a slight smirk, and waited for me to give him a one armed hug and a punch on the shoulder when he made a comment about me not getting any taller.

Apparently, Mom had already told the guests about my engagement to the King of Team Plasma, along with the fact that they were working to change their views on things, but nothing more. I was pretty relieved, to say the least. Belle probably wouldn't care that it started as simply a deal; once she found out about my growing feelings for him, all I would get in return would be daily calls about wedding plans. Cheren, on the other hand, would not agree with it at all, even though it's no longer something I simply feel obligated to do. Even worse, he might tell Black.

The hours passed much too quickly for my liking. It had been so long since I had seen my friends... I would definitely need to arrange to see them more often. My mother, too.

We exchanged gifts, though all I could give to my friends was a million and one apologies about not getting them anything because I hadn't known they would be there. They assured me that it was fine, though Cheren might have muttered something about me just making it up to them later. N and I had gotten my mom this fancy tea set (since hers was so old that I couldn't remember a time she had used a different one), but I sort of wished that I had thought of something more creative. Luckily, she appeared delighted.

Belle had excitedly handed me a big box that contained yet another frilly dress. Oh, look, another addition to the dozens that I had in my closet. Nonetheless, she had still tried, when I hadn't gotten her anything. So, I put on a smile, assuring her that I would wear it soon ("Ooh! And take pictures!").

Cheren had gotten me a variety of berries, earning both an eye roll and a chuckle. I was reminded of the many times during the journey when Cheren had stopped me for a battle, then later given me different kinds of berries. Seriously, where did he even get them? I couldn't recall seeing any berry trees in Unova. N had quickly snatched the bag out of my hands, examining each one of the berries with interest. When I started to ask what was up, he cut me off by saying something about how Cheren had managed to find extremely rare berries that could be very useful for healing severely wounded pokemon. This, of course, just produced a smug smile on the bluenette's face for the remainder of the evening.

Somewhere around the time that we started chowing down on my mom's Christmas cookies, Belle pointed out my engagement ring and that suddenly became the topic of the day. N explained how it had belonged to his mother, and that she had given it to him while on her sickbed (while he was only four). This brought Belle into a fit of hysteric tears, in which she proceeded to hug N for a solid five minutes before exiting the room to 'clean herself up.'

The night ended with me kissing my mom on the cheek and hugging both of my friends. I watched in surprise as my mother reached forward to hug N, and then slightly less surprise as Belle did.

I hadn't even realized how late it was until I pulled my X-Transceiver out of my pocket, glancing to the corner of it. 11:59 PM. I nudged N, mumbling something about the time. He froze, then smiled, glancing towards my friends. Before I could question him, he led me a few feet away, just as the snow started falling. The only light being from the moon shining down on the white ground, he dipped me back, placing the lightest of kisses on my lips.

* * *

"Wake up, White! Wake uuuuuup! C'mon, White, it's Christmas! Get up!"

I was more than slightly aware of a loud voice accompanied by the other side of the bed shifting every second.

I groaned, throwing an arm over my eyes. "Five more minutes!"

"_Whiiiiiiite!" _

I opened my eyes with a pout. N was already changed, but instead of his normal former attire, his clothes were loose, casual... It looked a bit strange, but... in a good way. A large smile was plastered on his eyes, and his excitement showed in his eyes. I had to remind myself yet again that N hadn't had a real childhood, so this was really special for him.

Regardless... This was my first Christmas with my fiance, so I guess it _should _be special.

* * *

The morning was, put short, _long. _

We ate a delicious breakfast, and then laughed while watching the pokemon eat _their _special breakfast. Even my Zebstrika, who was normally extremely picky about his food, seemed satisfied. After the meal, we headed to the ballroom, where all of the grunts were gathered. Apparently, _all _of them were required to give N and I gifts. And _oh, _did opening them all take hours. Most of the ones for me were things that a princess would want: dresses, makeup, shoes, and jewelry. A few of them were berries or other healing items. Several of the more daring ones gave N and I couple-y presents.

I was relieved when we got out of there.

N and I scurried back to our luxurious bedroom, and a smile bloomed on my face the second I was through the threshold. In the corner of the room, a small Christmas tree was set up, golden lights twinkling. Knowing N, he had done it himself, even though I didn't know _how _he could have between the time that we left and that moment. A blanket lay on the floor next to it. I grabbed N's hand with a giggle, dragging him over and pushing him to sit while I retrieved his gift from the back of the nightstand drawer.

When I turned back to him, he was holding a small box in one hand. With the other, he pulled me down to his level. As he looked in my eyes, part of me thought he would kiss me, but the other part knew that kisses were not something that frequented with N. Instead, he smiled, shoving the box into my hands and causing me to drop the other one onto the blanket.

I looked back at him, and he gestured for me to open the box. I did so, and gasped.

On a golden chain, lying against the thin padding in the box, was... something that sparkled like a diamond but could never be described as so. The blue-tinted gem was roughly cut, and tiny yellow sparks flashed off of it. For some reason, it looked kind of familiar...

The hand that wasn't holding the box went out to touch it, but paused. I eyed the sparks wearily. Would it shock me?

N seemed to read my thoughts, because he reached out and grabbed the box gently. "Don't worry; it won't hurt you. I can't really explain it, but... after having it cut, it was taken to multiple labs and coated in a substance that prevents the electric particles from actually reaching your skin. It's sort of difficult to explain..." He trailed off, looking away. "Do you know what this is from?"

I thought for a moment. Then it clicked. "Chargestone Cave?" He nodded, eyes cautious. "But... how-"

"Let me start from the beginning. But first," N motioned with a hand for me to turn around, and I did so. I felt his hands wrap around me, dropping the gem to rest on my neck and hooking the clasp in the back. It was kind of cool against my skin, not burning hot as I expected it to be. I glanced down. Sure enough, the sparks were still flashing around it, though I couldn't feel anything.

"The day that we met up in Chargestone Cave... My grunts had just returned from a failed mission in the cold storage building of Driftveil City, and I knew that you were behind it. I also knew that you would have next challenged the gym leader, and most likely won. This meant that you would be arriving at the cave soon, and I braced myself. Your pokemon at the time were only Petilil and Servine, but they were really strong. Then, you showed up with a new pokemon... an Emolga. The grunts had reported nothing of this, so I figured that it must be recently-caught and that you would have trouble having it obey you so soon. I... was wrong."

He paused there, and I frowned. I was intrigued; I hadn't really thought much on what N's views had been on me prior to our final battle. "Wrong?"

A nod. "That Emolga... Do you remember, White? Your newly-caught pokemon defeated each and every one of my own, then flew into your arms, where you hugged it. You couldn't hear its voice, but I could. You had had it for less than an hour, and yet, you were its whole world. And, for a moment, you made me reconsider my views. If this pokemon could want to be with a trainer like that, why couldn't others? But, alas, I couldn't turn my back on Team Plasma. Instead, I reconsidered my views on you. I thought that you could possibly become my ally... Though, I knew that was unlikely. So, my equal. That's what I wanted you to be, and-"

"-that's what I will be," I finished, turned back to him but keeping one hand clasped around my necklace.

"Yes. At the time, I didn't think that you would be my _queen, _but... nonetheless. I couldn't get out of my mind the thought of you and your Emolga, and how you seemed to just... fit together. You have a kind of 'shocking' spirit, you know?" I laughed. "And, though I didn't really know why, I wanted so badly to be able to harness the power of electricity and give it to you, and... I'm not really making sense anymore, am I?" Now was his turn to laugh and glance away awkwardly.

I was completely transfixed. This was probably the first time I had heard him speak so much at once. And, that Chargestone Cave incident... it had been almost a year ago. He had gotten this for me so long ago?

"Do you like it?" Now the prince's voice was barely above a whisper, and he was looking at me almost shyly.

I crawled forward, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I love it. So much... Thank you."

He smiled. I was about to lean forward and kiss him, but there was a sudden knock on the (open) door and the sound of someone clearing their throat.

A grunt stood in the doorway, looking extremely uncomfortable. Well, I could see why! I was practically on N's lap; it was definitely a very... _compromising _position. I stared on, horrified.

"U-um, Master N? Lady White?" The grunt shuffled his feet, blushing and looking anywhere but at us.

"Yes?"

I was embarrassed to death, but N somehow can keep a calm facade?

"There's someone here who has requested to see Lady White and has refused to leave until he does just that. It was a peculiar name... Black, I think?"


	12. Begin With the End in Mind

**A/N- I've been waiting to write this chapter since I began the story. x'D ;u; **

**Thanks for over 100 reviews, guys! :D I appreciate any and all feedback you can give me. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon or its characters. **

**Chapter Eleven: Begin With the End in Mind**

* * *

I hate to use such a clichéd phrase, but time literally seemed to slow down as I padded down the long hallway. Black was here. Black was... here? In the castle? I was only vaguely aware of N one small step behind me, babbling questions about who was here.

Once at the end of the hall, I stopped, one hand on the door that led to the main entrance hall, where Black would be waiting. I hadn't seen Black since long before my battle with N. Even though I now talked to Cheren and Belle all the time via X-Transceiver, the boy who lived next door to me all of my childhood was the one whose number I could never bare to dial. I could only assume that one of my other friends had gotten in contact with him and informed him of where I was... Did that mean he knew about my engagement?

I glanced up at N, who was still staring at me with wide, curious eyes. "White, who's Black?" I didn't miss the way he just so slightly bit his bottom lip in a pout.

My eyes drifted to my bare feet as I leaned against the door, heaving a sigh. "He's the guy trainer from Nuvema, who lived next to me. We were best friends growing up..."

"I thought that was Cheren?"

"No, no. Four trainers of the same age- two boys, two girls- started on the same day. Cheren and Black were those two boys, and Belle and I were the girls. We took our first steps of our journeys together, and Black and I were originally going to travel together."

"But... Why didn't you?"

"Team Plasma appeared, and Black got one of his pokemon taken away. It was never returned. After that, he disappeared for six months while I completed the gym challenge."

With that, I turned and pushed the door open.

My breath caught as I stepped into the main hall, taking a peak at the boy standing nearly ten feet away. He looked incredibly uncomfortable, shifting from foot to foot while staring at the ground and mumbling under his breath. He practically jumped as the door opened, eyes darting up to meet us. I held back a gasp as he took several hesitated steps towards us, and the dark circles under his eyes became visible. Under his normal cap, his hair- that was exactly the same shade as mine- was frazzled. The blue jacket hung open, revealing the wrinkled black t-shirt underneath. His jeans and trainers were mud-splattered. If not for the obvious signs of distress that seemed to radiate off of the boy, and if that familiar grin returned to his face instead of the shocked "o" of his lips, he would look exactly as he always had.

Black and I just stared at one another, expressions of shock matching each other's. We were barely three feet from each other now. Nobody spoke. At least, not for a minute. But eventually N, oblivious to the silent conversation I was holding with my old friend, broke the silence before stepping forward a reaching a hand out to Black with a grin on his face.

"Oh, so, you're White's friend that I haven't gotten to meet? I'm-"

The only sound in the room at the moment was Black's hand as it met N's with a large _smack, _knocking it aside and surprising the prince. "I know who you are."

N made a whimpering noise, stepping back so he was almost standing behind me. He leaned down to whisper in my ear about how mean my friend was.

That seemed to brake the spell. Almost without thinking, I lunged forward, throwing my arms around Black and causing him to stumbled back. Once he regained his footing, he hugged me back, though it felt half-hearted. Realizing that N, my _fiancé, _was in the room, I stepped back with a blush.

It got awkward again, no one knowing just what to say. I had dreamed of getting to meet with Black face-to-face again for a long time, though never really considered just what would happen once I did. And now, that I was engaged to N... I didn't know how Black was going to feel about it, if he didn't already know. Would he be happy for me? Upset that I hadn't contacted him before to inform him? Just simply _upset? _

Well, I would never know if I didn't say something.

"B-black, N, c'mon. Let's go sit." I shot N a pleading look, begging him not to protest simply because Black had been "mean" to him. "N, could you call for some tea?"

Five minutes later, we were all sat in the cozy little parlor with untouched teacups on the coffee table. We all sat in separate chairs, exchanging glances. Well, most of these were glares exchanged by the two guys.

Oh, wasn't this going _fantastic _already?

Just as I had pieced together my words, Black spoke. "White, what are you doing... _here?" _Completely ignoring the fact that N was in the room and _here _happened to be his home.

"I... I live here now." My voice cracked. Without realizing at first what I was doing, I clutched at my newly-acquired necklace as if for comfort.

_"Why?" _he spluttered. "Are you being threatened? Bribed? Kept against your will?"

I actually rolled my eyes. "If any of those were true, what makes you think I would be allowed visitors? You were probably let inside the castle gates with little to no trouble after you said you were my friend, right?"

He was on his feet now, hands clenched in fists at his side. "But you _hate _Team Plasma!"

I dropped my voice to a whisper, but knew they would both hear me. "... They've changed, Black."

"People don't just _change, _White. They're always going to be... they have to-"

"They have to be provoked by something to change?" N's voice cut in. He was standing now too, towering over Black who looked up at him with pure hatred shining in his blue-gray orbs. I couldn't help but feel that this was the most serious-looking I had seen N in... Well, since I had known him. "Is that what you were going to say? Because I would have to admit that I agree, one hundred percent. And that happened. White came along. She's changed Plasma's views, for the better."

Black scowled, his glare alternating from N to myself. "What, so you're on Plasma's side now, White?" His voice lowered. "You've changed."

"Black..." I stood, reaching a hand out towards him.

Wrong move.

In an instant, his hand had darted out and grabbed my wrist. At first I wanted to pull away, fearful of what he would do in his spurt of anger, but then realized that he was just staring blankly at my ring. He blinked a few times, his grip tightening. I flinched, crying out. Seeming to realize what he was doing, he released my arm.

"You're... You're _engaged? _You're getting married to _that?" _He jerked his head towards N, venom in his voice.

"Don't talk about him like that!" I was starting to grow angry myself.

The moment I had been waiting for happened- Black shook with anger, looking like he was about to burst out screaming. Instead, in a second, he just sighed and collapsed back into a chair, throwing an arm over his face. Some things never changed, including Black's mannerisms. The boy was so often cheerful and excited that being so angry didn't come easy to him. Ever since we were little, he would only be able to stay mad for a little while before he became exasperated and gave up, no matter the situation.

"I haven't tried so hard for so long only to lose you like this."

The words were spoken in a hushed tone, barely audible, but clearly provided much more importance than they appeared to.

"White, was is he talking about?"

I didn't reply, instead focusing my eyes on Black's quivering form. He removed his arm from covering his face, but pulled his cap down so his eyes were hidden. "I'm sorry, White. I'm sorry that I wasn't here on time."

I frowned, not liking his tone. Black never sounded so... disappoint. Unconfident. "What... are you talking about?"

A smile grew on his lips, but I didn't like it one bit. It was a crazed smile, one that held no real happiness. "I always believed that _we _would be the ones to be together forever, White. You did too; I'm sure of it. But I lost to this... This childish boy that calls himself a prince."

Pushing his hat up and jumping to his feet, the old Black seemed to appear, if only for a second. The smile remained on his face, though now it only looked half-fake. He stretched out a hand to the green-haired prince still standing in front of him, causing my jaw to drop. "Hey, N. Take care of her, alright? Just for now. I'm not giving up yet."

With those final words, he darted out the door, not leaving me with the chance to get a word in. I tried to let what the boy said sink in.

It didn't.

I should have been happy. It was still Christmas. I had spent a wonderful evening with my family and friends the night before. I had an absolutely amazing _fiance_ who I now knew I was in love with. On top of everything, I had gotten to see the friend who my heart had been aching for since long before I had come to N's castle.

So... Why was I filled with such an immediate sense of dread?


	13. And in the End, I Do

**A/N: Um. Greetings. This is the final chapter of Shock, posted two YEARS after the most recent one. This was brought on by a sudden anger at people who don't update fics, which then brought me to remember that I sort of abandoned my fic. Check out my profile for reasons. **

**I am really happy with how this turned out. And in case you're wondering, there was always the intent to only have one more chapter. It's not that I don't want to continue it anymore- this is how and when it was meant to end. **

**If you read this fic two years ago, you're probably not going to read this. If you just read it last week, congrats. You're in luck, I guess. **

**Thank you so much to all of the readers, if there are any left. I love you guys. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon. **

I stared in the mirror, trying to meet my own eyes but failing to. Instead, I focused on the dark circles beneath them, clear proof of how little sleep I had gotten the night before. Nerves combined with an actual fear that something could go terribly wrong today were, not surprisingly, not the best combination when you're trying to get "beauty sleep," as Belle had called it.

It had been months since Black had come to the castle, and I hadn't heard a word from him. According to Cheren, he had just disappeared without contacting anybody, but I wasn't really sure that was true. He and Cheren had always had a sort of "boys only" alliance, and it wouldn't surprise me if Cheren was just covering for him. Belle wasn't any help, either. She had just gushed over how romantic it was that Black cared enough to try to... what, exactly? Crash my wedding? Ruin my marriage? I still wasn't sure, and I had had months to ponder it. He had left with that threat, but how empty was it? When I expressed my concerns to N, he tried to reassure me that Black hadn't actually intended to do anything or else he would have done it by now. I tried and tried to believe it, but in the end, I could only concentrate on that little bit of malice that had been hidden behind Black's grin and the joking tone he took on for his parting words. If he was going to do something, today would be the day.

The door opened behind me, and I spun around to face it, startled and in an instant defense mode as I was still in just a bathrobe and it wouldn't be the first time one of the castle workers walked in on me while half-dressed. However, it was just Belle, who was first wearing her signature huge smile, which then melted into a look of shock. "White, you're not even dressed yet!"

I made a face, then turned back to the mirror. "And I haven't done my makeup, either. Sorry. I got a bit distracted. Tell me again why I can't go talk to N?"

She made a tssk-ing noise, then joined me in front of the mirror. "Because, silly! You just can't. It's bad luck. And anybody else would tell you the same! Well, maybe not Cheren. Or N. But, y'know. They're boys, so they don't get it."

I rolled my eyes, but sat on the vanity chair as Belle opened up the makeup kit and lightly commanded me to sit. It was odd to see her personality turn from bubbly and silly to this in-charge, commanding girl. After I had asked her to be my maid of honor, she had instantly turned into some sort of wedding planner.

She started in on my makeup, and I tried not to flinch as she pressed a bit too hard with the brush. "Don't turn me into some sort of beauty pageant girl, okay? I don't want to scare my fiance away at the alter."

Belle didn't laugh, just continued on my makeup and mumbled something under her breath about some girls just not understanding weddings. I closed my eyes and started to think about how, within hours, I would be married. As in, like, _married_ married, for life. Thinking that made my heart beat start to speed up and suddenly I couldn't breathe and was hyperventilating.

Belle was on me in an instant, throwing the makeup down and squeezing my shoulders, trying to calm me. "Hey, White. White, it's okay. You're getting married, hon! To N. And I know you haven't seen all of the setup yet, but it looks absolutely magical. There are lights and flowers and the alter looks so-"

"I haven't seen it because you didn't let me see it," I choke out without thought, and it pulls a startled, if a bit hysteric, laugh out of me. She giggles too, then hugs me tight, whispering how proud she is of me in my ear. This starts the tears, and the tears start to bring on another moment of panic, because I'm not this sappy of a person.

"Hey! Hey, your makeup. None of that! Smile! You're getting married!" She grins as if demonstrating how to look happy, and it's so typical that it brings a sincere smile to my own face, too.

She starts to chatter about her Pokemon as she continues my makeup, then talks about something that Cheren did, and then some more stuff about how nice everything looks. It's obvious that she's just trying to distract me, and it works. It feels like it doesn't take that long for her to finish my makeup, though I'm sure it actually took an insane amount of time that normal people would never spend on getting ready.

After that, she helps me as I struggle into my dress, the whole time making faces and grumbling about how it would be so much easier if people stopped making huge deals out of weddings and just wore jeans and sneakers. When I say something along the lines of, "It's just marriage, right?" I realize that I'm just rambling again due to more nerves. And I don't even know what I'm nervous about.

But then I'm fully into my dress, my makeup is done, and my hair has been curled and clipped up in some way that I suspect Belle saw in a magazine, and I'm staring in a full-length mirror. Sometime during the hair, my mom arrived and let herself in, automatically coming over to tell Belle how great a job she did on this setup that I still haven't seen, and also to give some pointers on how my hair should be done. At some point, I start to talk about how maybe I should have some input in all of this, but I barely get a word out before they just start talking over me again. And I just let them. I've realized how crazy some people get around weddings, and I try to pretend that I am not one of those people, even though my mind is still racing through all of the things that could go wrong. Apparently, I have some commitment issues that decide not to make themselves apparent until what is probably the biggest commitment I could ever make. How wonderful.

But by the time that I'm finally looking in the mirror, I actually feel breathless. All of the times that I've heard that brides see themselves in mirrors and are stunned, I've always thought that it was just over exaggerated. But I finally meet my reflection's eyes, and I've never felt more unfamiliar with them. It's not that I look like a different person, per say. It's more like I stepped through a wormhole into a universe in which all of my best features are illuminated and noticeable, and I actually feel beautiful. My mother and Belle are crying more than people should be crying on what is supposed to be the happiest day ever, and I have to fight to keep the tears out of my own eyes.

My mom leaves to check on one thing or another, and Belle starts chattering again. It's a rambling similar to mine earlier, and I can see that she's now the one in shock about the fact that I'm getting married. It hasn't really sunken in for me, either. It probably won't even be sinking in as I'm standing at the altar. Even as a kid, I hadn't ever really thought of myself as the type to get married. And if I had, it wouldn't have been like this. Well, first of all, it wouldn't have started because of a relationship I was forced into with a man who I despised, but later grew to love much more than I ever thought I could love someone. I had never pictured myself in any kind of romantic relationship, really. When we would play "house" as a kid and pretend to be married, I would always be with Black.

Black.

I had somehow managed to take my mind off of him for a while as I panicked about other wedding-related things, but now there was nothing to distract me. I kept asking myself what the worst thing he could do was. What scared me the most was that I had absolutely no idea. What was he even capable of? The last time I had seen them, he was so much different from my beloved childhood friend. And what he had said about being the one who should be getting married to me... Where did that even come from? Black had never expressed romantic feelings for me before. Or... had he? Was I just that oblivious? It took me such a long time to realize what my own feelings for N were as I was in denial. Could Black have been sending signs for all of those years without me even noticing? If that was true, no wonder he was angry. Not only had I not even acknowledged his feelings, now I was going to get married to another man without ever even apologizing to Black for hurting him.

There was a knock at the door, and Belle called, "If it's N, go away!", giggling afterwards. Muffled by the door, a voice said, "It's Cheren," and Belle called him in.

I stood up immediately and went to hug Cheren, but froze. Cheren had taken a few steps into the room, and behind him trailed Black, staring at his feet, which still had dirty sneakers on them despite the fact that he, like Cheren, was wearing a nice suit. Cheren looked from me to Black and back with his normal calm expression, before grabbing Belle and telling her that she was needed out in the courtyard and that there was some problem with the flowers. Belle probably didn't hear me shouting for them to wait as she started yelling about lilacs, and the door was closed. With both of them on the other side. And Black and I on this one.

Black finally looked up from his shoes, and his eyes widened comically. He looked me up and down, and I tried not to blush even though I knew I must be. Hopefully, he would just think it was the makeup. He took a deep breath as if about to speak, then let it out in a long sigh. He grimaced, and I mustered up all of the courage I had to speak.

"Why are you here?" Well. That wasn't what I meant to say at all.

Black's expression flashed to one of hurt, if only for a split second, then went to an automatic calm and composed one that didn't look right on his face. "I'm here because I heard there was a wedding."

"Don't make jokes. You weren't invited."

"Figured my invite got lost in the mail. Oh, well. I'm here as Cheren's plus-one, then." And more jokes. At least that was like normal Black.

"There wasn't even a plus-one on- oh, whatever. Why are you actually here? You... You'd better not be planning something, Black. This is my wedding day, okay? It's not a joke. It's not a game."

Black sighed again and stepped closer to me. I stepped back on a reflex, and Black flinched. He retreated and say on the arm of a chair, dropping his head into his hands for a second. When he finally looked up, I couldn't read his expression. His eyes were full of what looked like anger and... regret? Remorse? Something like that. "You think I don't know that? I'm not a child, White, though maybe that'll come as a surprise to you, since you seem to think we're still living in a world where the four of us could all just hang out and be friends."

And that stung a bit. "And why can't we?" I bit back.

"Because we just can't! We're _not_ kids anymore. And I don't have just a childhood crush on you anymore, White. I'm in love with you. And now you're getting married to the leader of Team Plasma."

"They-"

"-changed. Yeah, I know. You said that before. And recently, I've even started to believe it. I've seen those broadcasts on TV, you know. About stopping Pokemon liberation and focusing on helping Pokemon who actually are unhappy. So maybe I've started to accept it a little more. But... in my mind, Team Plasma will always just be the organization that stole a Pokemon from me as a kid, and caused tons of people to release Pokemon who didn't want to be released, and... and stole you away from me." I started to say something, but he continued. "And I get it. You're not an object. You were never mind to begin with."

Before I really knew what I was doing, I had crossed the room to pull him up and wrap my arms around him, burying my face in his shoulder. "You're wrong, Black. I'm still yours. And I always will be. Getting married to N won't change that."

He stiffened up and made a choking noise, and then his arms were wrapped tightly around me, pulling me impossibly closer. He didn't say anything, but he didn't have to. I was already crying into his shoulder, makeup be damned.

He just held me like that for a while, rubbing a hand up and down my back and whispering nonsense into my ear. By the time I managed to stop crying, I had choked out, "I'm sorry," and Black stepped back, grabbing both of my arms.

"You don't have anything to apologize for. It's not your... You deserve to be happy. _I'm_ the one who needs to apologize. I shouldn't have even come."

"God, Black. Don't say that. I want you to be here. You're still my best friend." I don't know where that came from, but I suddenly realized how true it was. For months, I had been dreading that Black would show up because I was afraid that he would do something to ruin the day, but despite all of that, I was so happy that he was here.

"I made you cry on your wedding day. Jeez, I'm an asshole." He was smiling, though, and I smiled despite the tears in my eyes.

"Is my makeup streaming down my face, now?" I joked, bringing a hand up to my face to wipe at what I'm sure was mascara running down my cheeks. My hand came away clean, though. Glancing back towards the mirror, I realized that Belle probably anticipated the tears and used waterproof makeup. But still, my face was red and my eyes looked huge and puffy, my hair sticking up a bit in the front from where it had rubbed against Black's suit jacket. "I'm a mess."

Black stepped up next to me, wrapping an arm around my waist. Black gasped all of a sudden, and I guess he was seeing exactly what I was seeing in the mirror: me, looking nice and wearing a wedding dress, and him, in a suit, standing next to each other. It made my heart ache for a moment. "This is really a "what could have been" moment, huh?" he said gently. It wasn't even a joke any more, but he didn't sound sad. Just a bit in awe. It made me smile.

I turned around and hugged him again. "What we have is better. We get to stay friends but you don't have to hear me complaining about, like, curtains, or whatever."

He laughed. "And what do you get out of it?"

"Well, I don't have to listen to you snore."

He acted offended, pretending that I was hurting his ego. He started talking as I composed myself a bit, putting a bit more makeup on to make my face appear less red and bloated. I guess nobody would be surprised that I was crying, though. Everyone cries at weddings.

I turned back to look at my friend, who was still rambling. He broke off mid-sentence, then smiled. A real, genuine smile, not a grin or a smirk. "You really do look gorgeous, White."

I smiled back. "Thanks. You look pretty sharp yourself." We both grinned at each other, and fell into a silence that was more comfortable and accepting than it was awkward. "I'm scared," I finally said.

Black scoffed. "You're always scared. You were scared that your first Pokemon would hate you. You were _terrified_ to be so far away from your mom. Shit, you were scared of bug type Pokemon as a kid, remember?"

"That's not true! I was never-"

"You totally were. I remember. Ask anyone. But anyways, none of that turned out too terribly, did it? Your first Pokemon ended up loving you, along with all of the ones you caught along the way. And if you hadn't gone on your journey, you never would have met any of them, or even your FIANCE, to be honest. And a big bad bug Pokemon never hurt you, did it? So if that stuff turned out find, this will, too. I'm sure of it. You're too smart of a person to agreed to this if it wasn't the right thing to do. Even if you were forced into it at the start, you definitely could have gotten out of it if you really wanted to. So, I'm pretty confident. Also, if N turns out to be the worst guy ever, I'll kick his ass."

I laughed and threw myself into Black's arms. "I'm sure you will."

"I will," he said confidently. "Now, come on. There's a wedding going on and you wouldn't want to miss it."

* * *

Everything after that is a real blur. I'm suddenly walking into the castle courtyard as someone plays music somewhere, and it really does look as magical as Belle had described it. There are lights hanging up and everything is covered in beautiful flowers. There are tons of chairs lined up with more people than I remember inviting, and most I don't recognize. I don't think N knows most of them, either. But I guess it technically is a royal wedding, and N at least is known all throughout the region, so it's not surprising that a lot of strangers managed to somehow get in.

I see my mom, sitting in the front row, as everyone turns around to look at me. I feel suddenly uncomfortable, and my face is suddenly on fire. I want to stare at my feet, but as I'm not used to walking in heels, I would most definitely fall flat on my face. So I just stare straight ahead. And I see N, and everything just clicks. The shock of this moment almost makes me stop in my tracks, but the way N is looking at me keeps me going.

His eyes are huge, and it's like he's looking at me for the first time, or something. The expression on his face is uncanny, one of utter surprise, as if he didn't know I looked like this. To be fair, I didn't really know I could look like this, either. And by the time I get up there, the surprise is gone, and I don't think I've ever seen him look this happy. There's a huge smile on his face, and his eyes are full of love that I never thought I would see him have for someone or something that wasn't one of his beloved Pokemon friends. I feel my heart melt, and the words of the minister feel miles away as I smile at N and feel like it's just the two of us, if only for a moment. It's quite possibly the most cheesy thought I've ever had and I barely believe that I'm the one who's thinking it, but it's completely true.

Every woman says that her wedding day is the happiest day of her life. As a kid, I scoffed at that. I thought that becoming a Pokemon trainer would be the greatest day ever. I thought that defeating the Pokemon league, earning all of the badges and proving to everyone that I could, completing the Pokedex and catching every Pokemon, would be the greatest day of my life. But compared to this moment, all of those things seem so much less important. Because this is the most life-changing thing. It's a serious moment of "nothing is going to be the same ever again." Because it's going to be better. It's going to be just like before, but this time, I have someone to experience all of those things with.

We're suddenly being asked for our vows, which I managed to memorize... this morning. I'm struggling to speak, but I eventually manage to choke out the binding words. N smiles at me, and I know that even though I had to lose to get to this point, I am still a winner.

* * *

Though I feel like N and I are just about as far from a normal couple as you can get, our wedding reception is exactly the same as any wedding reception that has ever happened in the history of weddings: chaotic. I get hugged by about a million people before my mom and Belle make their way to me, and I'm pretty sure the crowd multiplied during the ceremony. My husband (husband!) is whisked away from me seconds after we kiss, and after a while, I start to wonder if I'm ever actually going to see him again. My mom can't stop hugging me, and Belle is talking quickly about how great we looked up there, and how it's the most beautiful ceremony she's ever seen, and now everybody is crying. Cheren comes up to me and tries to act cool, smirking and calling me "Mrs. Harmonia," to which my heart speeds up and I try to hide my huge grin. His facade falls through pretty quickly and he grabs me in a tight hug, whispering, "I'm so proud," in my ear before stepping away and muttering about going to get something to drink. I'm smile, and Belle follows him, calling after him that he's just as sappy at weddings as the rest of us.

I'm searching through the crowd for Black, and by the time I find him, the crowd is pretty much cleared. He's in the least likely spot I would have imagined him, though: standing close to N, talking in what appears to be a private conversation. I freeze and stare at them, trying to pick up on any tension. There doesn't appear to be any, though they don't exactly look friendly, either. More of that mutual respect that two guys sometimes have towards each other. After a few seconds, a kind smile appears on N's face, and he shakes Black's hand. I must make some sort of noise, because they both look at me abruptly.

"What are you smiling about?" Black asks with a grin.

"Nothing, nothing," I say, and hug him, glancing at N over his shoulder to see his reaction. He just smiles at me and goes to greet a nearby friend. I smile into Black's neck. "Thank you."

"Nothing to thank me for," he says casually.

I roll my eyes and step back. "You're acting like Cheren."

He snorts. "Fine, whatever. Go ahead and thank me. I know how wonderful I am. I am a god."

I laugh and hit him on the arm as I walk by, heading to grab N. "Hey, White, wait," I hear. I turn around and raise an eyebrow. "Hey, um, be careful, you know."

I blink a few times, narrowing my eyes. "What do you mean?"

Black coughs, but I know he's just trying to hide a laugh. "Use protection."

"Oh my god," I mutter, walking away, face flaming. "Die in a hole."

Black is still cackling when I grab N and spin him around, wrapping my arms around his neck. He looks confused. "What's so funny?"

I shake my head and smile. "It's nothing. Dance with me?"

His expression melts into a calm smile. "It would be my honor."

In his arms, my head on his shoulder, it's another strange moment in which I feel like we're just alone together. "Hey."

I can hear the smile in his voice. "Hey."

"Why did you want to marry me?"

I don't know why I ask this now. We're already married, so it's not like it really matters that much. But there's a part of me that absolutely needs to know. I can't stop thinking about how, even when N was my enemy, he was part of the reason why I even continued. I remember slipping on the stairs of Dragon Spiral Tower, exhausted and in pain and no closer to stopping Team Plasma than I was months before. N picking me up, healing my Pokemon, and giving me a speech about how I was the only trainer he had ever seen that was working so hard to protect Pokemon... He was the only reason I had even continued on.

"I fell in love with you," he says, and I start. He had never said anything about having feelings for me before the time that I moved in. Hell, prior to moving into the castle, I hadn't thought that N could have human emotions for anything other than Pokemon. Before I can ask when, he continues. "I think I loved you from the first time I met you, though I didn't recognize the feeling until later." I pull back and stare at him, wide-eyed. He sounds so serious. "I had never seen someone other than myself who was so passionate about Pokemon. So determined to help them. I was so amazed by you, but so scared that you would be able to stop Team Plasma's mission. You were the first trainer to ever make me stop and wonder if what we were doing was wrong, and the last trainer to be hurt by us."

I don't know what to say, so I just kiss N, completely oblivious to all of the people around us until someone starts clapping and a voice that is distinctly Black's yells, "Get a room!" obnoxiously.

"White, can I ask you something now?" N whispers after the cheering has stopped.

"Of course," I say, giggling. "You can ask me stuff whenever you want. We're _MARRIED_, now." It still feels weird to say.

"Did you ever regret losing the battle to me?"

I take a deep breath as I think about my answer. "No," I answer, and I'm surprised to find that it's completely honest. "Even from the very beginning. And that terrified me. I was trying so hard to hate you the entire time that we battled each other, and by the time I was forced into coming to the castle, I expected that I wouldn't be able to stand you. I was so mad at myself, and I was constantly reminding myself to stop feeling sorry for you when you were sad and being glad when you were happy, and laughing at your dumb jokes and thinking you were cute."

I felt N's lips press against my forehead, the action so very familiar now that it felt comfortable. "I was so sure that you hated me for bringing you here," he whispered.

"Never," I whispered back. I slip my arms away from around his neck to wrap them around his back, hugging him close. "I love you."

"I love you too, White," he murmured. "You're my queen."

It was weird, being called a queen; to a bystander, it would just seem like a pet name, though it was technically true. A year ago, being told that I would be the queen of Team Plasma would have been laughable. Now, standing here wrapped in N's arms and knowing that I had helped in the changing of Team Plasma, I was completely content, if not a bit proud.

We danced some more, and then the speeches started. All of my friends along with a few of the grunts who had been more close to us made speeches, all making some sort of inappropriate joke that made the crowd laugh, my face turn red, and N whisper in my ear to ask what they were talking about. After a few more people went, and I thought we were done, there was a light pressure on my back, pushing me forward. I looked back to see Black, grinning, say, "Speech, _Queen White_?"

I scowled at him as multiple people in the crowd yelled that they wanted me to make a speech, too. I rolled my eyes and went up to the stage, dragging N with me. It felt like saying my vows again. I stared at N the entire time I spoke, finding it easier to address him. "Okay, um, wow, okay. So, um. God, I'm bad at this. Hey, N." He smiled at this. "So, a year ago, I would never have thought to be standing here. Ever." I have to take a breath, wipe at my eyes. When I lower my hands, N grabs onto both of them, squeezing tightly. "This... getting married is so much different than anything I had ever planned to do, and to be honest, it wasn't something I ever imaged I'd WANT to do. I'm just amazed that you somehow managed to make this the most amazing thing ever. Despite everything that we had to go through to get here, you are the greatest thing to happen to me. So, um. Thank you for turning my life into an adventure. And though I'm scared as hell for what will happen now... let's go adventure some more together, okay?"

My words sound muffled to my own ears, and I have no idea how loud that I'm speaking. It's highly likely that N is the only one to even hear my words, but that is completely fine with me.

They're only meant for him.


End file.
